I've found myself saying this to recently engaged friends over and over again… so I decided this would be helpful for my couples… and anyone else who is planning on exchanging vows at some point in the future. Speaking from my experience, it's easy, SO EASY to get caught up in the party aspect of a wedding. What is the right venue, the right dress, the right dinner to serve and even the right photographer. Do I have video, Do I get a band or DJ, Do I really need up lighting, WAIT... that costs how much?!? (as you're spitting out your drink). If you're planning a wedding you've probably thought these things at one time or another. If not, well, congratulations you're a rare breed.
What I'm here to remind you of is that the FIRST thing you should be concerned with, when planning out all of these beautiful details… is your CEREMONY! Yes, the ceremony, the whole reason you're getting married (take a breather and think long and hard about this part).
When I first started my planning I was soooo enthralled in all of the details of the reception, that I didn't give two thoughts about my ceremony. I knew that we would stand up in front of everyone and I knew we would write our own vows, but that's about it. I'll be the first to admit that the ceremony was an after thought until my bff Jenny (who was married 8 mos. earlier) brought to my attention that maybe I shouldn't be so concerned with the reception until I have my ceremony on lock down.
Huh? Ceremony? I didn't even think about the ceremony and it's really the only part that matters!
Since Justin and I had a non-traditional ceremony ( aka hitched in a barn), we were in charge of writing most of our ceremony, how we wanted it to flow, what we wanted included etc. I started researching different types of ceremonies and let me tell you, I never realized how many different types there are. It was pretty interesting just to read through some of them to see the (sometimes slight) difference.
We finally found one we liked that really spoke to our personalities as individuals and encompassed our relationship as a whole. Brian, Justin's cousin who married us, of course added his personal touch which made it feel complete. Overall the ceremony expressed the belief that marriage is a creative process, and for marriage to achieve its fullest, most unique and beautiful expression, takes time. It's the belief that marriage is an on-going process and work of art. We have only just begun the process of being married, rather than the thought of getting married as one day.
As a wedding photographer I get to listen to a lot of ceremonies and a lot of readings, so I knew what type of reading I wanted and what energy I thought it would add. The day for me was about our love for each other and was more spiritual with just a touch of religion. So I chose poems about loving each other through life's chaotic journey. For you non-traditional folks, think about what readings will encompass your relationship rather than your religion.
I know you're probably sitting there reading this thinking… is she nuts? On top of planning this giant celebration she's suggesting I write my entire ceremony out too? No, that's not my point… relax, breathe, haha.
The point of me telling you all of this is to just simply point out to you, like Jenny did for me, that you should really be giving your ceremony a lot of thought. I want you to feel like your ceremony meant something to both of you and wasn't just a thoughtless process. It is really the only part of your day that is about the two of you, the rest of the shin dig is for everyone to help celebrate.
Tammy & Tommy did a phenomenal job of really putting their own personalities into their ceremony. So much so that I was fogging up the eye piece on my camera!
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So whether it be the traditional or the non traditional, make it your own and make it what you want it to be.
Peace, Love & Handwritten Vows,
April K