{Background} My mother always tells me the story of how the first parent teacher conference she went to for me she was told, “Well…April certainly marches to the beat of her own drummer”. That statement has followed me through my years, ringing true the more and more I grow.
I was never a very good student, this may or may not have been a good thing, but it’s my reality. I never liked cookie cutter classes that I couldn’t relate to, I didn’t like my teachers a lot of the times because they would treat me weird for being “unique” or “too creative”. To me, school was totally boring; my notebooks were filled with pictures and doodles because I was trying to keep myself awake. In 8th grade History, I taught myself to say my alphabet backwards. In 10th grade History I taught myself to write with my left hand, while I took all my notes that way. I was always the girl who was getting into trouble and it was because I was so bored. Art class was my escape, it’s what I’m best at and was the only way I stayed interested in high school and college.
{Fast forward through high school and college}
It was May 2005, I was fresh out of college and FINALLY on my own. Finally, I was no longer a prisoner to $500 textbooks I never read, late night cram sessions, trying to understand math and being a poor college student. This was it, my time to shine, and my time to change the world with an amazing career as a television journalist {that’s what I wanted to be at that point in my life}.
That colorful feeling lasted about a month until I soon realized getting a job was a lot harder than it sounded. My heart just wasn’t into television anymore and I was simply lost. Hundreds of miles from home with no family around me, completely on my own financially with no job, wonderful… I panicked and took the first job I could find, Account Executive at Clear Channel Radio in Syracuse, NY. Whoopie. Now my bright and cheery outlook on life was grimly entertained by sitting behind a desk surrounded by grey tweed walls, a computer screen, excel spreadsheets and a sales quota trying to figure out how I was going to pay my rent, car payment and student loans while making peanuts. That was the brutal reality of graduating college and setting out into the 'real world'.
I’m often times not very good at hiding my emotions when I’m unhappy so I don’t know if it was the look on my face or the tone in my voice that sent a clear signal to a co-worker at the time that I was just NOT having it anymore. I was fed up, this isn’t what I wanted and I wasn’t going to just “deal” with it. What was my new plan? As she walked passed my desk she handed me this article and told me to stop spending my life doing something that didn’t make me happy.
{Enter, Steve Jobs}
I read this article approx. 75 times across the next week and really thought long and hard about what I was going to do. One morning I didn’t think about it anymore, I was done, I knew what I needed to do. When I arrived at work I walked into my managers office and put in my 2 weeks notice. “I’m sorry Ron but this just isn’t my bag” Ron of course tried to convince me to stay with promises of better training and one on one attention. With this article ringing in my head I declined, packed up my belongings and never returned.
While I was a lost and struggling graduate I held onto this article and read it many times when the going got tough.
Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
Still searching and still looking, I knew my passion would be something that exercised my creativity and I knew it would be working with my hands. After I thought long and hard about what was stirring inside of me a light bulb went off. Aha!
{Enter, Photography}
Trust the dots will connect down the road, this will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path, and that will make all the difference.
I had no money for a camera, shit; I could hardly pay my rent! So what did I do to start on the path towards this wonderful journey of photography? What any normal 22 year old would do, I googled. I soon became an assistant for Tom Wall, who was kind enough to lend me his extra camera to learn on and teach me the basics of the biz.
{Fast forward through 2 more corporate jobs, which led me to Boston}
Now with a website and a few years of wedding photography under my belt my most recent corporate job brought me to Boston where I currently reside. In a fresh new city with a great promotion I was living the high life and photography took a mini hiatus. Though, it wasn’t long before I started getting the ‘caged songbird fever’. I pulled out this article and read it a few times while deciding whether I was going to take the ultimate plunge… going full time with my photography business.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
I finally smartened up and with the support of my family and friends I decided, what did I have to lose? Yes I wouldn’t be getting that steady fat paycheck and bonuses anymore and I wouldn’t have healthcare… Those 2 things alone did not weigh enough to put my mind at ease. I had struggled before and could certainly live frugal until I got back on my feet again. But how was I going to tell James? James was my manager at the time, the guy who believed in me and gave me so much opportunity in the corporate world. James knew me and knew that photography was my passion, he understood and with no hesitation said that I needed to do what made me happy.
June 1st I finally took this business full time and because of all of your love and support {you, the one reading this} my business has been growing at an alarmingly rapid pace!
Just like Steve Jobs said in his speech I can say now with a giant smile from ear to ear. "Deciding to 'start over' was the best decision I’ve ever made. I am now in the most creative period of my life" and I am the happiest I’ve ever been. I may work significantly more hours and make significantly less money for the time being. But I would not trade today for anything in the world.
Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
To all of my bloggies far and wide… Please know that if you have passion stirring inside of you DON’T IGNORE IT. Act now; find a way to make your dreams come true, you have nothing to lose. Don’t listen to the critics or the negative nancies that will tell you you’re crazy and give you a hundred reasons why it will never work.
Know that your dreams will come true if you let them!
“We’re not here for a long time, we’re here for a good time”
Rest In Peace, Steve.